Shamanistic Tendencies
 

"Come ooooon Jim.  We've got the week off. " Blair pleaded as the door to the loft opened.

"Since when?" asked Jim confusedly, tossing his keys at the basket.  They missed.  "We were working on a big case five minutes ago."

"Taleya's Muse started bashing.  We got called up." Blair hopped up on the kitchen counter, hands excitedly drumming a beat on the surface.

"Taleya." Jim opened the fridge and pulled out a couple of beers. "Remind me Chief, which one is she?"

"Redhead, permanently wired, Looooves me...."

"Gee, that narrows it down to about 5000 FanFic writers." Jim handed Blair a bottle.

"Thanks Jim.   Actually uses her real name..."

"Oh.  That Taleya." Jim twisted the cap off his beer.  "Isn't she working on some serial killer thing?  That one that woman was going on about? Angie, Angie..."

"Angie Harrison." Blair jumped down from the counter, eyes pleading. "She needs a break before she goes down like the Titanic.   Come on, it'll be fun."

Jim paused and took a swig. "Can't she go harass Ray and Benny for a bit?"  He sighed in resignation.  "I have no idea why I'm agreeing to this."

"It's the plot line of her story, man. You gotta swing with it."  Blair demonstrated by gyrating his pelvis.

Jim grimaced. "Swing?"

"Yeah, swing" Blair gyrated again.

Jim grinned. "Yeah, and you know Taleya put that bit in 'cos she likes it when you swing." he gestured with his beer bottle. " Remember 'Dead Drop'?  Rewind / Replay on the 'Macarena' scene?"

Blair shrugged. "I'm over that.  She wore a hole in the tape."

"Good thing too.  I was thinking I'd have to put you in traction."

"So, we going with this one?" Blair said hopefully, eyes wide and puppyish.

Jim considered it for a moment, head cocked to one side.  Then he shrugged.  "Yeah, why not?"

"Uh, one thing though, Jim, turn the dials down.  I don't want the full feedback show, if you get what I mean."

Jim nodded. "Done."

"Great.  This is going to be so cool."  Blair moved over and started closing the curtains.

"Uh Chief, what are you doing that for?"

"Atmosphere man, we gotta have atmosphere."

"Why?"

Blair paused, confused. " I don't know.  Must be something to do with my Shamanistic Tendencies."  He grinned easily and moved to the lounge room.  "Help me push the coffee table out of the way."  

Jim and Blair sat cross-legged, opposite each other in the middle of the lounge room floor.

"I am Guide" intoned Blair.

"I am Sentinel." replied Jim.

"I am Blair."

"I am Jim.  You know Chief, I wish she'd hurry it up."

"Shh.  I am Sentinel."

"I am Guide."

"I am Jim."

"I am Blair."

Blair opened his eyes.

And looked at himself.

Oh boy  "Jim?"

Wide blue eyes framed by a mop of curly hair looked up at him.  "Chief?"

"It worked! Oh man, this is fantastic!"  Blair slowly got to his feet, adjusting to the feel of a new body.  The first thing he noticed was he was huge.  Not just height, but well, just huge. He turned around in a slow circle.  And the power.  He felt like he could climb straight up the Empire State building and not even run out of breath.  He grinned suddenly. In this body, he probably could.

Pity about the excessive arm hair though....

Jim was blowing curls out of his face.  "Dammit Sandburg, how can you see with all this hair?"

"What's the matter Jim?" teased Blair "Forgotten what it was like?"

"Very funny.  I might just get the urge to, say, get a hair cut."

"No way man."

"Oh yeah." Jim grinned. "A nice military short back and sides."

 "You are not cutting my hair!"

"What are you going to do to stop me? It's my body now."

"You do that and I'll start eating Ethiopian.  You'll be tasting it for weeks once we swap back.  Or...or I'll get both your nipples pierced."

Jim waved his hands in surrender, a look of mock horror on his face.  "Ok, I won't cut the hair."  he paused. "Can I tie it back though?"

Blair gave him a suspicious look.  "Yeah.  But if I see one lock in the bin..."

"You won't."  Jim put his hand over his heart.  "Scouts honour."

"Ok." said Blair grudgingly.   "There's an elastic band around my right wrist."

"Oh, thanks." Jim pulled it off and gathered up his...Blair's hair. "How're the senses?" he asked around a mouthful of elastic.

"I'm skimming normal.  I want to turn them up a bit." Jim pulled the elastic out of his mouth.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." He warned, hands dropping to his sides

"C'mon man, I'm researching Sentinels.  What better way to find out the extent of their skills than being one?  Besides, I'm kinda curious.  I'm gonna turn the hearing up."

"Chief..."

"C'mon man, I wanna hear what you hear."  Blair closed his eyes, picturing the dials.  Right, sound, just a little...

"Oh wow."  he said softly.  "I can hear your...*my* heartbeat.  This is too cool." A little more...

"The ocean."

Suddenly the phone rang.  Blair dropped to the floor, hands over his ears. "Oh man, oh Jesus, oh shit, oh fuck."  he curled into a ball, cradling his head.

Reacting swiftly, Jim reached over and pulled the cord from the wall.  Dropping it to the floor, he knelt next to his friend.  "Take a deep breath Chief."  he said, his voice a ghost of breath.  "That's it, slow and easy.  Focus on the dials.  C'mon Chief, you can do it.  Turn them down."  he watched as Blair slowly relaxed.  "That's it buddy, ease down."  He was amazed at how easily the words came to him, the voice.

Blair slowly straightened. "Thanks Jim.  Man that hurt." He shook his head to clear it.

"So I heard."  Jim said dryly, helping him to his feet.  "Watch your language.  There are kids on this mailing list, you know."

"Yeah, well don't blame me, I just say the lines.  Taleya's the one writing the script."  Blair sighed.  "No offence intended, but I think I'll keep them down for the duration."

Jim clapped him on the shoulder.  "Sounds like a plan, Chief. So what now?"

Blair shrugged, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I don't know.  I guess we wait until Taleya gets another idea."

"Catch some TV?"

"Yeah man, whatever."  Blair jiggled his pants slightly. "Excuse me, you have to go to the bathroom." He walked into the bathroom, carefully closing the door behind him.

Unzipping his pants, Blair couldn't help but grin.  "Got you on this one, 'big guy' " he sniggered.  

Jim, meanwhile, was trying to tie Blair's hair back.  He swore as yet another curl escaped.  "Damn." How hard could it be?  Sandburg had it tied up and back in less than thirty seconds.  He yelped as he caught a snarl in the elastic.  Didn't Blair have a comb somewhere?  Yeah, he did. Somewhere in that disaster zone called a bedroom.

He wandered over and opened the door.  It wasn't so much a bedroom as an office.  And a bomb zone.  At least to his anally retentive neatness streak.

"Hey?  Who says I'm anally retentive?  I just like a room I can move around in."

Blair came up and stood beside him. "I suppose this means we swap bedrooms too." he said reflectively.

"I'm not sleeping in there." complained Jim "You'll never find me again."

"C'mon Jim." Blair wheedled  "There's no way I can fit in my bed now."

"Try the couch." Jim grumped.

"I won't fit.  You're just too damn big.  Face it Jim, I get the purely hedonistic feathers tonight."

Jim sighed. "How long is this supposed to last?"

"You heard the lady.  Three days, maybe two if we're good."

"I have to be you for two days?" Jim slumped against the doorframe.  " 'This sucks' to quote you."

"Be nice." warned Blair.  "She's using the blue pen.  Piss her off, and she'll crack out the black one."

"I'm sorry, Taleya." Jim said immediately, face pale at the thought.

"Besides," continued Blair "You couldn't be me.  You're too stiff."

"Stiff?" Jim asked, affronted.

"Yeah, stiff.  Look, I'll show you.  Walk across the floor."  Jim walked to the stairwell and back.  "See what I mean?  You don't bounce"

"Bounce? I'm too afraid to.  I think I'll give myself brain damage."

"You think you'll give me brain damage.  And no, you won't.  Just let the energy flow man, move with it."

"Ok then smartass, let me see you walk." Blair did.  Jim burst out laughing.

"What, man?"

"It's almost worth this story to see that." Jim wiped the tears out of his eyes.

"What?  See what?"  Blair twisted frantically, trying to see what was so funny.

"You minced.  You actually made me mince." Jim started laughing again.

Blair grinned cheekily. "If you got the hips man, you gotta swing 'em."

"Very funny." Jim said darkly.

Blair waved his hands. Hey, don't blame me.  It was Taleya.  She did it."

"Black pen."

"Whoops.  Sorry."

Jim turned his attention back to Blair's room and mournfully surveyed the mass of papers over every available surface. "Can't you at least clean it up a bit?"

Blair shook his head with a grin.  "No way.  You're me.  Your room.  You want it clean? You clean it."  He stretched.  "I'm getting hungry.  What's for dinner?"

"You're the chef."

"No, your the chef.  I'm just the Chief."  Blair grinned again.  "You're cooking."

Jim groaned at the weak joke.  "You're gonna milk this for all it's worth, aren't you?"

"Yep."  Blair wandered over to the couch.  "I think I'll just sit here and soak up some TV."

Jim ferreted around in the freezer.  At least with Blair having to put up with his body's cravings, he could get some decent food.  He pulled out a wrapped package.  "How does Fried Chicken sound, Chief?"

"Fried Chicken?"  Blair jumped off the couch.  "No way.  If you want to choke your arteries, fine.  But you are not eating that.  Not in my body."

"I feel like chicken" Jim whined, clutching the package to his chest. Damn you Taleya.

"No, I feel like chicken.  That's my body, and I can't handle the fat overload."

"It's a once off Chief, live a little."

"Which part of this don't you get?  My body is my temple.  You don't eat KFC in a church."   Blair tried to run a hand through his hair.  "If you're bent on chicken, then make it stir fry."

"Fine."  The thought of all that fat was starting to make him feel queasy anyway.  

Blair reached for another bowlful.  "I can't believe this.  I'm *still* hungry.  How much food do you eat in the course of one day anyway?"

"Lots."  Jim polished off the last of his juice.  "I can't believe how little you eat."

"Yeah, well I'm not the muscleman of Cascade."  Blair scooped the last of the rice out and took the bowls to the sink.  "What time is it?"

Jim glanced at his watch "Eleven."

"What already?  That can't be."

"I think she's doing the accelerated time thing. You should be getting tired about now."

"Yeah, I am.  You on the other hand, will be up for another three hours." Blair grinned. "Student's payment to the devil." He headed for the stairs, then paused, idly stroking an arm.  "You know Jim, maybe you should have all this arm hair transplanted to your head. Make a nice wig."

"Ha ha.  You can talk.  They don't call you Hairboy for nothing.  Which do you brush first in the morning?  Your hair or your chest?"

"Funny Jim. Real funny." a smile quirked his face despite himself.

"Hairier than Larry." Jim quipped slyly.

The smile was threatening to become a guffaw. Blair went determinedly up the stairs.  "Goodnight Jim."

"You sure we took the right one back to the zoo?"  

A thousand and one sounds, the symphony of the night.

More like a cacophony.  Blair turned over restlessly.  How does Jim stand it?  He took a deep breath, then released, it focusing his mind.

*crunch crunch*

Blair threw back the covers. That better not be what I think it is...

The Sentinel snuck downstairs.  "I thought so."  He charged into his room and pulled the bag out of Jim's hands. "Popcorn?  In my body? I don't think so Jim."

"I got hungry." Jim said defensively, trying to pull popcorn fragments out of his hair.

"That's it." Blair stuck his hands on his hips.  "I'm sleeping in the lounge room.  Between you and that kitchen."

"Uhhhh Blair" Jim whined.

"C'mon big guy."

"You can't call me big guy any more.  I'm smaller than you now."

Blair smirked.  "Not from what I saw."  He grabbed the smaller man and pinned him to the bed with one hand.

Jim lay there, arms over his head, shirt riding up just a little...

Blair surveyed him speculatively, then started unbuttoning the shirt.  "You know, I've always wanted to do this..."

"What?  Chief, don't tell me she's writing slash now...Aaargh!"  Blair's exploring fingers had exploded into a frenzy of activity, attacking his stomach.

"Tickle tickle tickle!"  said Blair gleefully as his partner squirmed.

"Blair...Aaargh!  Stop it!  I can't...Aaaiiii!  STOP IT!"

"Uh uh man, how many stories have you tickling me?  This is karmic revenge."

Jim thought about all the things writers had him doing - cuffs on the head, casual put downs, head noogies... "Noooooo!"

"Oh yeah man." Blair grinned wickedly, fingers flying.  "Oh yeah."  

Jim woke up and sighed in relief.  He was back in his own body at last.  He rolled over and looked at the clock, its LCD figures glowing softly.  4am.

He heard the soft murmur of the television.  Gotta be Sandburg.  He made his way down to the lounge room.

Blair was sprawled on the couch watching TV, a paper bag nestled in his lap.  Jim sniffed the air, then made a sound of surprise. "Popcorn?  Since when did you eat popcorn?"

"You started me on it.  I had the taste in my mouth, then I started craving." Blair shovelled another load into his mouth. "You want some?" he offered the half-empty bag.

"Yeah."  Jim grabbed a handful and sat down.  "What's on?"

"National Geographic.  Excavating Herculaneum."

"Oh."  Jim watched for a few minutes.  Boring.

He shifted a bit on the couch. "Blair?"

"Yeah?" Blair shovelled in another handful of popcorn.

"Three words." He slowly moved closer to his prey.

Blair was oblivious, eyes firmly fixed on the TV. "What?"

The popcorn went flying through the air.

"Tickle tickle tickle!"

"I'll get you for this Taleya!" Blair screamed helplessly

END

Any time Blair.  Any time at all.  <v,v,Vbeg>
 

All Content Copyright © 2001 Taleya Joinson
Last modified: November 12, 2010