Along for the Ride

Crystals.

Big crystals.

Great big crystals the size of Paris, threatening the world....

Jim sighed and brushed the sugar off his jumper.  I have got to lay off the caffeine.   He made his way over to where Blair was hunched over the computer.

"How's it going, Chief?" he mumbled through a mouthful of doughnut.

"Auuk.  Jim, do you mind not dropping fat filled pastry all over my keyboard?"

"S'not your keyboard." Jim said unrepentantly.  "It belongs to the Cascade PD."

"Yeah, well seeing as I'm using it to type up your reports -" Blair reached out and dropped another file onto the desk " - I think you can give me some leeway."

"mimimimimi" mimicked Jim in a high pitched falsetto, and sprinkled a few more crumbs for good measure.

"Jim."  His voice was low, warning.

Jim held his hands up in surrender "Ok, I'm going."

"Jim."  Simon poked his head out from his office.  "Can I have a word?"

"Yeah, sure." Jim waved his sugarcoated fingers one last time in front of Blair, who irritably swatted them away.  

"What's up Simon?"  Jim pushed the door to with his foot.

"It's about Blair's surprise party."

"Yeah?" They had been planning it for weeks.  Rafe, Brown, Simon and Joel were going to be there, partly to celebrate, partly out of guilt over 'the whole Lash thing.'  Jim had dropped a few hints, which Blair had neatly sidestepped, and they'd finally ended up having to pry Blair's DOB out of his file.

"I wanted to know what food to bring.  I mean, I know you're going to make all that weird stuff the kid likes, but I thought the guys might appreciate real food."

Jim shrugged.  "Fine.  Whatever.  Just as long as they enjoy themselves."  

Blair sighed and blew an errant curl out of his face.  Reaching up, he caught it and tied it back with the rest, in the semi-regulation ponytail.

He hadn't meant to snap at Jim. God knew, the big guy hardly ever just kicked back and enjoyed life, but...

He sighed mournfully as he saved and closed the file. Now that he'd finished these reports for Jim, he could go home and look forward to his bed, where there were another bunch of ungraded essays from his Anthropology tutes waiting for him.

Then another bunch of tests to grade...then his own notes to type up...

No sleep tonight.

Again.

Blair scrubbed a hand over his eyes. His thoughts were starting to feel a little loopy...ok, a lot loopy. All this work...he knew he should have started earlier - like a couple of months ago - but it had been pretty hectic back then, what with one thing and another... helping Jim out at the precinct, that business with the drug dealers and then Lash...

Lash.

He shivered involuntarily.  Get a grip Sandburg he told himself firmly. Jim, his 'Blessed Protector' had taken care of *that* one. Permanently. It's over.  Done.  Let it go.

He idly wondered what Jim and Simon were up to.

A snippet of a sentence floated through the door. "Blair's..." He got up and snuck towards the door.  Hey, if they were talking about him, he had a right to know, right?

Right.

Simon was talking "...might appreciate real..."

Blair didn't hear the rest of the sentence.  Real partner? his mind gibbered frantically  He wants Jim to get a real partner?  Blair felt like his world had crashed around his feet.  He knew he'd screwed up at the church, but this...

"Fine.  Whatever."

Jim too?  Calm down.  he told himself This doesn't mean he's cutting you out.  You know Jim, that thing with Lash just scared him.  That's all.  He'll get over it.

Blair moved back to the desk and sat down. But will I?  Don't think about it.

Jim was backing out of the office.  "Next Tuesday, ok?"

Blair slumped.  Not Tuesday man, don't dump this on me on my birthday...

"Chief?  You ok?"

"Yeah, man, I'm just tired." And I heard you screwing me over.  "Can we just go home?  I have a huge pile of like about eight hundred papers to grade."

Jim surveyed him for a moment, noticing for the first time the weary slump of his partner's shoulders.  I practically dragged him to the station and why?  Just because I hate paperwork.  Good one Ellison, the kid does not live exclusively for you.  "Maybe you should skip it and just sleep"

Blair shook his head.  "Nah, I gotta get these done. " He managed a weak grin.  "Otherwise my students will kill me."

Jim looked doubtful. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine."  

Blair sighed and pushed his hair out of his face for the thousandth time. He had been up all night, grading the test papers.  And the essays.  He had just finished typing the last of his notes into the laptop and was considering crashing.  It was six o'clock, just enough time for a catnap before his class at eight. It sounded like a good plan.

Which Jim ruined by waking up.

Blair groaned and peeled himself off the couch.  Moving stiffly into the kitchen, he set the coffee to boil.  Judging from the sounds upstairs, he had a few minutes to start cooking breakfast before Jim wandered down.

Blair stifled a yawn against the back of his hand. Three days with virtually no sleep was not the way to lead up to his birthday.  He knew if he asked, the Jim would've let him off the hook, but since he still felt a little skittish about living in the loft, cooking the meals made him feel better about the situation.  A fair trade, if you will.

Besides, he'd sampled Jim's cooking.  To be fair, the big guy was probably a good cook in his own right - just not in the morning.

"Smells good, Chief" Jim sniffed the air appreciatively.  "Eggs?"

"Of course." Blair had learnt early on not to mess with Jim and his eggs.  The guy was nuts about them. Maybe it's genetic, the protein...man do I need sleep. He scraped them onto the toast and set a cup of coffee beside it.  "Bon Appetite"

Jim was watching him carefully.  "What time did you get to sleep?"

"Uh," Obfuscate.  "About two, I think.  I fell asleep on my laptop.  When I woke up I had two hundred pages filled with 'fkljgre' " He grabbed a cup of coffee and headed for his bedroom.  "I'm gonna go freshen up."

"Blair."

Oh no, he's gonna tell me.  This is where it's 'bye bye Sandburg'

"Yeah Jim?"

"Don't run yourself ragged ok? If you need time off at the PD, let me know."

Blair let out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. "No, it's fine man, I'll post this stuff today, handle my classes, get about twelve hours sleep and I'll be fine.  Bouncy as ever."

Jim groaned and rolled his eyes theatrically. "Don't use all the hot water."  

Blair felt rotten. He'd managed to get the essay results put up in record time,  and he sported the shiner from one majorly pissed off student to show for it. The throbbing made a perfect symphony for the pounding from a killer headache that was developing.  After that little piece of fun, he'd spent a couple of hours with some of his students, tutoring.  He looked up at the clock. Six pm. All he really wanted to do was go home, maybe have a few beers and collapse on his bed.

But Jim would be there, and he'd pull the big concerned act, and he'd smile and joke, and Blair would be forced to pretend he hadn't heard those words in the office.

Just tell me Jim.  Stop screwing with my mind.

He leant back in his chair, rubbing his temples.  Great way to spend a birthday.  Not like Naomi and I ever really celebrated them. He took in a deep cleansing breath and slowly released it, focusing his mind.  He needed some space, somewhere quiet...waves would be nice...

The Marina.

He picked up his bag.   It sounded good. A few hours down there in the dark, just listening to the waves.  Jim, of course, would freak, but maybe Blair wouldn't tell him. He used to live in a warehouse in the worst part of town for chrissakes.  A pier? No worries.  

Jim pressed the button on his answering machine.

"Oh, hi Jim.  It's um, four o'clock. Just letting you know I could be late.  I'm helping out a couple of students with stuff, so, don't wait up 'kay?  Bye."

Jim nodded, fishing some leftovers from the fridge.  "Fine Sandburg.  Just don't forget to sleep."  He grabbed a beer and sat down to watch a game.  

Blair pulled the Corvair up near the pier.  Dark and quiet.  Perfect.   He pulled his bag from the car and made for the park bench on the water's edge.

Sitting down, he folded his legs beneath him in a lotus and closed his eyes.  Deep breath in, then out.  Following the action of the waves.

In, out, In, out.

What to do about Jim?  How to protect him?

In, out, In, out

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad.  He'd have a lot more time off for starters. He could still watch Jim at the loft, maybe tag along for a bit with the new guy...

In, out, In, out.

He leaned back in the bench.  If Jim was careful, maybe he wouldn't zone, maybe he would be all right.

Maybe...
Maybe...
Maybe...

He fell asleep.  

Jim padded slowly down the stairs the next morning.  Something felt wrong.  Then he realised.  Blair wasn't there.  His heartbeat, the rustle of paper, a thousand and one sounds that his mind immediately lumped into one word.  Blair.

And he wasn't there.

He pushed the door open to his Guide's room.  The bed wasn't slept in.  He felt another wave of guilt wash over him.  Probably fell asleep over his computer at the University.  He debated calling, then decided against it.  Blair needed his sleep.  And Jim ringing him up over  'Mother Hen Mode' wouldn't help matters.
Still...

He was reaching for the phone when there was a knock at the door.  A figure was standing there, buried under a pile of boxes.

"I brought the supplies, where d'you want them?"

"Here" Jim leaned forward and took some of the boxes.  Underneath was a rumpled looking Rafe. "Come in."

Rafe entered, looking nervously around. "Sandburg isn't here, is he?"

"Nope.  Probably passed out over his computer at school.  We're safe."

 "That's good.  I swapped for an early shift, so I gotta go.  Joel said he'd drop by later to help set up."
 
"It's ok, I'll do it.  Simon's given me some 'vacation time'.  Said something about too many jam filled doughnuts."

Rafe snickered.  "Yeah. I'll drop by later.  See you at six."

"Yeah, thanks.  Bye."  Jim started unpacking. 

  Blair rolled over and opened his eyes.  Oh man. He'd fallen asleep on the bench.  And from the looks of it, it was morning.  Late morning.  Jim was gonna be insane. He reached for the bag he'd left at his feet.  Maybe if he called Jim now, he could beg a stay of execution.

His bag was gone.

"Oh man."

Blair turned to his car and groaned. His car was sitting on four flats. Happy birthday to me. he thought loopily. And it looks like it might be my last...

Screw Jim.  Another thought cut across. Where the hell does he get off, playing my father?  Like I never did anything, couldn't care for myself before I met him?

Blair sat down again.  If I want to sleep on a park bench, that's my prerogative.  I don't have to answer to him.  he leaned back. Hell, come tonight, I won't even be his unofficial partner any more. I don't have to... he started to snore.  

Jim finished putting up the last of the party decorations and surveyed his handiwork.

Starting to look like a Christmas tree.  he thought happily.

Brightly coloured streamers of blue yellow and gold hung from everywhere, spiralling down the staircase, and draping from every available surface.  He checked his watch.  4pm.  Blair would be finishing classes about now, then another hour sorting papers...  There was a tap at the door.

Jim put the last of the tape away and answered it.

"Hi Jim."  Joel was there, a brightly wrapped package under one arm, beer under the other.  "Am I too early?"

"Nope.  I was just finishing up."  Jim stashed the beer in the fridge.  "You can help me with the food if you want."

Joel deposited the package on the end of the counter and gave Jim a hand.  Soon they had the table laid out with food, everything from sun dried tomatoes to salt and vinegar chips.

"That ought to take care of everyone."  Joel said satisfied. There was another tap at the door.  This time it was Brown and Rafe.  Simon arrived soon after.

"So is he here yet?"  asked Rafe eagerly.

"Nope. " Jim looked up at the clock.  It was six.  Way past time for Blair to be home.

He sighed.  That piece of 'classic' car Blair owned had probably died again.  He rang his office.  No answer.  Yep, probably died in the middle of the main street.  He tried the mobile.  It rang out.

Jim stared feeling uneasy.  He shrugged into a coat, grabbing his keys from the basket.  "I'm just going to go see if I can sniff him out.  Don't eat all the food."

Brown looked up guiltily.  "Sorry." he mumbled through a mouthful of chips.
 
Rafe grinned at him. "Don't worry Jim, we'll keep H here away from the buffet."  

Jim tried the University. No one had seen Sandburg all day.  He coasted up and down the streets, following Blair's usual route home.  No luck.  He was starting to panic slightly when he saw a familiar figure walking up the street, through the rain.

"Hey, Chief."  He pulled his car up next to the trudging figure.  "What's up?"

"My car got flats, man.  I was down by the pier." Blair continued walking

"Are you ok?  Why didn't you ring?" Jim coasted the car, keeping up with his partner.

"I fell asleep.  Somebody stole my bag."  Jim caught a glimpse of purple past the sodden curls plastered to Blair's face.  He stopped the car and got out.

"What the hell happened?" Jim brushed the hair away, fingers ghosting over the bruise, automatically checking his partner's eyes.

Blair pushed him away.  "Get off Jim.  I'm fine."

"You didn't answer my question."

"A student got pissed at the grade I gave him and took a swing at me, ok?  Can I just go home now?" asked Blair angrily, trying to push past.

Jim grabbed him by the arm. "What the hell's wrong with you, Sandburg?"

"What's wrong?"  Blair exploded.  "What the fuck do you think?  Stop screwing around Jim and just tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"Last week.  Simon's office.  I heard every word."

"Oh."  Bang goes the surprise "Well?

" 'Well?'" parroted Blair. "I want you to tell me Jim.  I want you to hear you say it."

Jim shrugged.  "Ok.  We're throwing you a surprise birthday party."

"That's fine Jim.  I'm glad you finally...What?"

"We're throwing you a surprise birthday party."

"Oh man.."  Blair sat down on the pavement.  And I thought... He started to giggle, helplessly.

"Chief?  You all right?"  Jim was anxiously hovering over him.

Blair waved a hand and tried to get the giggles under control.  "I thought, I thought you..." the thought set him off again, and he laughed harder, tears springing to his eyes.

Finally the laugher tapered off to sporadic giggles, and he wiped his eyes, grinning like a loon.

Jim extended a hand.  "Coming?"

"Oh, yeah man."  Blair grasped the hand and let Jim haul him to his feet.  

Jim pulled past a Volvo.  "So, you want to tell me what's so funny?" They were heading back to the loft.

"Oh, yeah. I guess I only heard part of the conversation, and I totally grabbed the wrong end.  I thought Simon was assigning you a new partner or something.  A real one."  Blair tried to wave it off with a shake of his head.

Jim pulled over and stopped the truck, looking at his partner for a long moment. "Sandburg.  Blair.  You're my partner."

"But I thought, maybe, with the screw up at the church, that thing with Lash, you know the whole trouble magnet -"

"That 'thing with Lash' " interrupted Jim.  "Cemented it.  You are in Chief.  Completely.  You kept your cool and handled it like a pro."  He let a smile creep into his voice.  "The guys were actually quite impressed with the way you trashed the loft."

"Yeah, well, I didn't think, you know?  I threw everything I could at him and he still got me."  Blair tried to untangle his hair. "And when he had me on that chair... I was so scared, and then I just, like, snapped or something.  I was so pissed at him for making me feel like that.  I just started screaming at him, trying to hurt him. Trying to scare him.  'cos, maybe if I did that, he'd leave me alone."

"Blair.  It doesn't matter why you did it. You did it.  And you survived.  I told you I was proud.  I still am.   I'd rather have you than any official partner.  You got that?"

Blair studied him for a long moment, then broke into a smile.  "Yeah, I got it."  He shifted in his seat. "I suppose we'd better get back.  The guys will be wondering where we are."

"Yeah.  Shame to waste all that food."  Jim said with a gleam in his eye.

Blair snickered.  "Junk food heaven, right?"

"Maybe."  Jim said secretively.

"Oh what?  You mean you went all out?  Oh man, Jim that’s fantastic.  Real food."  He closed his eyes and moaned appreciatively.  "I haven't eaten since yesterday."

"I know."  Jim said quietly.  "In future, tell me back off when you get snowed under.  You're supposed to watch my back, not wipe yourself out."

"Will do."

"Oh and Chief?"

"Yeah?"

"Try and act surprised."

All Content Copyright © 2001 Taleya Joinson
Last modified: November 12, 2010