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Guilt
By Taleya
Guilt.
It’s a powerful feeling.
One I should not feel.
I am a warrior! I am Vegeta. Prince Vegeta, ruler of the Saiya-jin.
Ruler of a dead race.
It makes me laugh, at times. A wild laughter, insane, one that makes Bulma
shrink from me in the dark of the night, feeling me grow cold by her side. And
that thought makes me laugh harder. At the thought of my mate. My half-bred
brats. My children.
How did this happen?
Perhaps I am insane, after all.
Ruler of a dead race. The only remnants that half-wit Kakarotto, a handful of
half-breeds and an insane man.
Oddly fitting, perhaps.
But still that feeling claws at me. Unfamiliar. Alien, like the woman that
sleeps by my side, even now.
I don’t like it.
Why does this…guilt cling to me? Why is my pride underlaid by it? What have I
to feel guilt for? For the lives I took – what do they mean to me! For
the pain I brought? The suffering? The murder without care of those who were
innocent? Such things are beneath me!
But these aren’t the things that claw at me. They are hidden, lost behind the
mad rush of the wind in my ears, the shriek of battle in my blood, the lust for
killing that swept through my body, empowering me, strengthening me, making me a
GOD.
No. These things I do not regret. No less is to be expected.
Instead, I feel guilt over a foolish woman. Over a clinging family. The shriek
of a world in its dying throes fills me with a near sexual ecstasy, but a single
tear from a green haired human woman makes me cringe. The cry of a child
in the night makes my heart pound. My words hurt them, I am not the man they
want me to be. Not the foolish, weak, mushy! human they wish I was.
And I feel guilt for it.
And I do not like it.
Beside me, Bulma rolls over, smacking me in the face with an outflung arm. Her
eyes blink softly at me in the starlight.
“Baka,” she says affectionately. “Go to sleep.”
She curls up closer to my side, and I hold her there with my arm around her
body. My lips brush her hair.
Baka
Perhaps the word is more true than she will ever know. |
